I wrote out this letter and I placed it next to the glass. Then I started looking at the spider, and I felt so bad for it. So I slipped the note under the glass, securing the spider, and I went outside to let the little bugger free. I’m so nice. It better not come back.
I just trapped a spider under the glass and I DON’T KNOW WHAT TO DO PLEASE SEND HELP 911
It was a productive day.
- Besides boys being failures, I got shit done at the DMV.
- Went to the bank, and if I’m careful, I’ll have enough money to last me several months. Please, heaven above, help me not spend on useless shit like action figures.
- Bought my daddy lunch. Japanese food. Yum.
- Treated Dorota to a movie. Guess what movie? The Avengers. She was laughing so hard at the shawarma scene, she was crying. Hulk was her favorite. She thinks he’s good-looking when he’s not a giant green rage monster.
- Now I’m home, nomming on everything. Good day.
I’m going to attempt to go on a diet. I’z fine as hell already, but I just ordered something from Frederick’s and I ain’t about to look like no fatass in it.
It’s 2 pm and my housekeeper says, “Oh, you’re up early. Do you have things to do?”
This is when I know I live a sad, sad life.
How my Cinco de Mayo went:
6:45 pm - 8:45 ~ Bad mood, sick, annoyed, wanted to kill everything, hated everyone, put every pop song on blast.
9 pm - 12 am ~ YEAH BUDDY! CINCO DE DRINKO Y DRINKO DE CINCO LOLOL I LOVE LIFE.
12 am - 3:30 am ~ Wat.
Only Ruby will understand this.
I’m not in a good mood, so I’m watching American Horror Story for comfort. American Horror Story, The Lord of the Rings Trilogy, and food are best for an unsettled heart.
Last night, my grandma asked me why I was wearing a white jacket and dancing around on my bed. The problem is that I don’t own a white jacket and I wasn’t dancing on my bed.
